Slender thighs that don’t even come near each other when you walk down the street in your baggy, size small sweater. Your hipbones showing through the denim of your size zero skinny jeans. Everyone stops and starts when you walk by, because you’re just that breathtaking. Just that ethereal. You could have that. If you just put. Down. The. Food.
I’m so fucking tired of having my jeans cut into my flab when I’m sitting.
I’m fucking tired or readjusting my shirt to cover my stomach bulges.
I’m fucking tired of looking like a whale in skinny jeans.
I’m fucking tired of not being able to suppress my hunger as well as most girls.
1. because eating will set you back. it will only take longer for you to become skinny.
2. is it really worth the guilt & self hate? when skipping that meal will make you feel 10x better in about 10 minutes.
3. skinny thighs, in everything.
- skinny jeans.
- skirts.
- sitting, standing, & laying.
4. a flat stomach.
- laying, sitting, & standing.
- bikini tops.
- crop tops.
- tank tops.
- sports bras.
5. collarbones.
- necklaces.
- v.neck shirts.
6. tiny wrists.
- bracelets.
7. tiny arms.
- baggy shirts.
- to be able to wrap your fingers around most of your forearm.
8. narrow face.
- defined cheekbones.
- defined jawline.
9. tiny neck.
- neck lines, showing you lost weight.
10. concerned looks/complements.
- have you ate today?
- wow, you’ve lost weight.
- wow, you’re getting really tiny.
11. bony fingers.
- rings.
12. ribs.
- to be able to lay & see them.
- to be able to turn a certain way & see them.
- to be able to see them in general.
13. to feel in control.
- to be able to say “no” to someone offering food.
14. to see the number on the scale go down little by little.
15. to experience reaching your goal weight. how good it will feel.
16. to not be the fat friend anymore.
17. to be able to wear a bikini this year & rock it.
18. to be able to wear leggings & see my thigh gap.
19. to be able to wrap my hands around the side of my waist.
20. to finally be happy.
it takes time. be patient.
- waisted thin.
(this is for self motivation)
[~]
Nothing feels as skinny feels. Nothing feels like knowing you’re the thinnest out there. The prettiest. The classiest. Like a freaking high fashion model.. they’re considered like fucking godesses. Do they binge? No. Do they overeat? Also no. Are you better than them to do so? Haha, that question was a joke, forget it. We all know you’re not; and yet, you still do.
Nothing feels like being able to ask for the smallest size in a store. To have a wide gap between your legs. Hipbones as sharp as a razor. Ribcage sculpted through your skin. Your profile as thin as a paper. Looking well in any clothing. Hell, looking damn good in a fucking plastic bag and make it look high couture. Do you need that meal? Of course not. Look at all that fat wrapping your bones, don’t you think it’s enough?
How many years do you still want to waste? Binging and eating and getting fatter by the day. It’s supposed to go the other way round but it’s no surprise when it comes to you.
People and the world are evolving and going forward and you are going backwardsn it’s like you’re sabotaging yourself. Killing any chance you have at happiness.
Losing weight has become your life and yet even that you still are failing at. All the friends you’ve lost, the social events yoy’ve skipped, the life you’ve missed, ans all that for what? How much have you lost until now? 2 pounds? 4? Maybe you’ve even gained. Who the fuck knows under all those layers.. get your shit together and get serious. We both know your potential. How strong you can be. How van you control your own life, job and family if you can’t even control yourself around something as futile as food? Shame.
Oh, and all the clothes you’ll be able to wear. All the cute pretty classy shit you’ll be able to rock and actually feel confident in! Things you’ll choose to wear because you actually like and not only makes you look less fat. You’ll look like your own little model. Even though you’re not tall, you’ll look like it. You legs will look much taller without all that chubbiness. You’re too pretty to be fat. What a waste.
You know you were meant to fly, so drop the dead weight and fly babygirl.
An internal war. A black dog. A black hole. An invisible fire. A pressure cooker. A devil inside. An absence. A bell jar. A malicious code in the operating system of your mind. A parallel universe. A life-long fight. A by-product of mortality. A living nightmare. An echo chamber. Dark and hopeless and lonely.
• black coffee - around 0cals
• black/green tea - around 0cals
• strawberries - 49cals per cup
• mixed berries - 32cals per ½ cup
• kiwi - 37cals per medium one
• grapefruit - 38cals per half one
• lemons/limes - 20cals per medium one
• plum - 30cals per medium one
• lettuce - 5cals per cup
• cucumber - 22cals per half one
• celery - 6cals per stalk
• asparagus - 27cals per cup
• mushrooms - 15cals per cup
• broccoli - 31cals per cup
• spinach - 7cals per cup
• tomatoes - 22cals per medium one
“I want to explain how exhausted I am. Even in my dreams. How I wake up tired. How I’m being drowned by some kind of black wave.”
